Febuary song

So its hit febuary now.
wow 2008 has just creeped upon me.
I'm truly in awe that people have this big idea that they can change themselves complelty overnight during new year. To be keep a proper resolution you need to endure it and fully commit yourself don't you? That's one thing i have definately learned in the very short month of January that whizzed by. Looking back i realised that last year i had a pretty good year all in all. I came closer to discovering the real person i am. Unfortunately this discovery was through a run of bad experiences, but who is one to doubt the course of fate? I know 2007 could have been a whole much better year if i had probably studied more, slept more, exercised more, relaxed more, socialised more and judged less, stressed less, saw a certain friend less, and allowed myself to be vulnerable less.

I'm not going to say that this year i hope to improve all my bad points. Being realistic i know that is unlikely to be achieved. But i can at least try to fill in the cracks and smooth out the dents of my pathetic, jealous, hurt-filled 2007.

So it is now 3 mins past midnight on Friday, the 1st of Febuary. And I'm sitting huddled up in a blanket listenning to Radiohead trying to think clearly of my situation. Desperate to find some slow tempo songs to ease my frustration.

January has been the new light as i have started to awaken from my post 2007 daze and really see things and people for what they really are. The skys are a different colour now. Not necessarily grey or a complete contrast, just a different shade from what it was before. The people that meant the most to me a year ago have all gone and the people i never thought i would be close to have come forward. The friends i have had for years i now see in different lights. And as always i'm walking through these crowds.

I'll always remember a certain day in August last year when i left my then best friend at the airport terminal. I knew as i walked away from her that it would be the last time i saw her. Instead of grieving i embraced it. But when i stood back a month or so down the line i realised that really i was the one that had been left standing at the airport. She had left me in the crowds, and everyone had grown taller. I struggled to find anyone to relate to, even in just a simple "i miss her" way. Eventually, i found my feet and grew taller. And after time i caught up and could then see above the heads. However i know for many months, the water will still run under the bridge. She may have been a river back then, just a trickle now but in turn still affect.

January has also brought me a new found friend.Who has been so influential in my life as of recently so much that i have named this post in his regard. His name is David and he is a beautiful,talented and kind boy. I have a feeling that he will be a significant part of this year. I'm determined not to let it fail this time. I have learned my lesson, without the armbands.

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu---u---jah